"Thanks Frank, a pleasure to be shootin' from the sidelines with you, as always!"
"Right back at you Chet! We're broadcasting LIVE from the Junk Pit arena; tonight's match up is between light weight class walkers. In one corner, we have a member of the Gray Steel Hawks mercenary outfit, Jair in the Horseless Headsman; his opponent, up and coming gladiator Johann Graebauer, currently enjoying a five-win streak in his Spartan Prince. Ladies and Gentlemen, this promises to be a standout match. Chet? Your thoughts?"
"Well Frank, it's not unheard of for mercs to do a round or two in the arenas; but it is uncommon, and usually results in some fierce and brutal matches."
"Right, long time gladiator fans will know, there's an intense rivalry between Mercs and Gladiators, and no love lost between them. Chet, you've fought your share of grudge matches right?"
"Sure have Frank, and let me tell you, if Johann thinks he can just swagger his way through this match up, we might have to rechristen his walker the Spartan Coffin. You couldn't pay me enough to get in there right now against Jair's Headsman."
"And here we are now looking at Jair and the Horseless Headsman; Relevant technical data is flowing like the booze at Geirmund's Mead Hall, official sponsor of tonight's match. Chet, can you help our viewers at home make sense of all these numbers?"
"Can do Frank. Headsman is a custom job like most merc walkers; you have a Halsev Tornado chassis up top. The Tornado is a excellent light torso; all-rounded surfaces help deflect all types of incoming fire. Ample weapon hardpoints on the lower torso; pilot's compartment is spacious and well armored, power plant is symmetrically distanced to the arms and legs. Arms have good clearance for a wide variety of arm mounted weapons."
"That's because of the bulb-shape of the torso right?"
"Exactly; although Jair's walker has a custom matte black and weathered taupe paint job that makes the torso look like a giant skull; he's still got the high velocity short range machine guns on the 'jaw', but it looks like he's added something to the torso's weapon bay mounts that wasn't there before-"
"You're talking about that flickering flame light in the eye sockets right? Those are freaking me out right now, like damning eyes, and I could swear they didn't use to be there."
"Yeah, those are definitely new, they look like pilot lights for a mark 3, or even mark 5, Kenbishi flamethrower. And of course, he's still got his signature weapon, the Guillotine. I swear that thing gives me nightmares."
"Yeah, that is one seriously evil looking, large axe"
"Headsman's chassis is paired with a RenkeiZ bipedal locomotor platform. Nothing special, but very reliable. Good speed, very agile, average stability. Dependable and sturdy, the kind of gear you'd expect on walker that might have to go weeks or even months without a full maintenance."
"That's a common complaint, right? That gladiator walkers are showroom divas and merc walkers are, well, as Johann himself put it, 'the butch of the ball.'"
"Yeah, and I mean, that's just a matter of circumstances and goals you know? It's comparing Rifles and Grenade Launchers."
"I'd be hard pressed to call the Headsman 'butch'; that skull effect is actually quite terrifying. Now we're over in Johann's bay where they are finishing prep work on the Spartan Prince. It's quite a different walker altogether. Chet, you mentioned the bipedal platform on the Headsman, perhaps you can start us off with how Spartan Prince's, uh, 'chicken legs' are different from those, and how quad legs are different from both?"
"Haha, I'd be careful Frank, Johann might throw a challenge your way! But seriously, the 'Reverse Counter Jointed' leg platform is one that is built for speed. It's excellent for closing the distance with a foe, as well as keeping your distance. But that straight line speed comes at a price: the design has poor agility for maneuvaring and dodging, and the altered joint makes for a more hopping gait which makes aiming on the move more difficult.
Now quad legs, those four legged, low slung, kinda spider leg design, those are bult for stability. You see them often on long range type walker; makes those sniper shots easier. But more legs means a slower gait and lower top speed. Their agility is surprisingly decent, due to their ability to side-step."
"And in spite of all that, Johann has a shoulder-mounted long range High Energy Laser."
"Yeah, it's unusual to see something like a HEL on a light-class walker. Uses up a lot of the spare capacity of the power plant, and not that great for a run-and-gun fighting style you usually see on the lighter guys. Of course, the Spartan has a bit more armor than usual, opting for a Coregiani Barone chassis with augmented armor flares."
"It's a beautiful standard-type torso with pauldron and gorget flares. Although like most walkers, it has no true 'head'."
"Yeah, well, why would you put the pilot in a standout, lightly armored location right? Stick him in the chest."
"Speaking of which, the Spartan Prince is well equipped for that task, rounding out it's armaments with a Lockheed medium range kinetic rocket rack on the right arm and a Medieapons ultanium hardened spear-mount in place of the lower left arm."
"I heard that tonight's match had something to do Johann making a spear thrust motion at the Gray Steel Hawks and Jair offering to castrate him in reply."
"Ouch. We'll see who lives up to his words in a few moments as the two combatants move onto their arena lifts. Now Chet, you've fought plenty of times in the Junk Pit right? What is it like?"
"The Junk Pit is a pain in the ass, and the management is proud of that reputation. It's dark, muddy, and there's metal every-god-damn-where. Drives the sensors crazy. And most of the junk piles are scuttled and obsolete walker parts. That, and the random bits of machinery that are active but doing nothing useful drives targeting bonkers. And if that's not enough, they've wired power sources to some of the odd bits of walker trash in the pit, and they love to turn them on and off at random. If you don't have a heart attack from getting a proximity alert from the junkpile you just walked past, it's because you are probably too busy shitting yourself."
"Cabin boy, get me my brown pants, right Chet? Haha! And how about that 'warehouse' structure they have in the middle? That's got to be tactically significant, right?"
"Not as much as you'd think Frank. It's a rusted out, two story metal death trap really. It gives you a better view, but you can't cover all the angles, and you're as likely to fall through the floor or get caught from behind while staring out the window for your opponent as you are to get the jump on them. Sometimes it helps, but it's usually a rookie mistake."
"And here we go the lifts are rising into place and our fight is about to get underwa-wow would you look at that? We could have a very short fight on our hands!"
"Oh yeah, it's not often they do this kinda thing Frank, but the operators do sometimes start the walkers out right near each other, practically back to back."
"All that stands between these two is a stacking container! Fight fans, it's all over the second one of them turns the corner and catches the other off guard!"
"Talk about an aluminum sheet between victory and disaster; they are both turning clockwise around the container! It's like a choreographed dance to destruction!"
"So what do you think is going on in their minds Chet? Give us some insight."
"Well, Johann is making straight for the warehouse. I think it's a mistake, but probably he's going to try to leverage the range advantage with his HEL; you know usually he's in the Garden or the Colosseum, he just doesn't have any experience in this arena yet."
"Certainly. Who can forget his recent win in the Garden? Blasted a hole through the hedge maze with his rockets to stun his opponent and then finished him off with the spear!"
"Took a page right out of Jair's book with that one, which may have led to all taunting. There; Johann is heading into the warehouse and Jair, well, I have no idea what he's doing-"
"Yeah it looks like he's moving some of the machinery around - what is that, a plasma welder? Thermic lance? Can't really tell-"
"I think he's trying to get it closer to that burnt out hulk; yeah that's precisely what he's doing. Someone told him this is a fight and not an art competition right?"
"Looks like Johann has negotiated his way into an empty room on the second floor. What do you make of what he's doing with his spear there Chet?"
"Sly son of a bitch. See how's scoring the floor with his spear, making cross hatches? He's weakening the floor leading into the room. He can't watch for the Headsman and cover his back at the same time. So he's setting a trap; he's weakened the floor and he's counting on Jair to close the distance to use his axe if he comes up on Johann from behind. Tricky bastard, but I think it's a risky gambit; He's underestimating Jair."
"Does seem like a plan that could backfire if things go wrong.'
"Right; and in the arenas, things always go wrong."
"Did you see that? Did Jair use his flame throwers? I didn't see any flames-"
"That took me by surprise too; Frank can we go to an instant replay on that? Look, he fires his machine guns on the hulk from behind cover and - Bam! There it goes, up in flames! That- that is truly evil. Those have to be some kind of incendiary rounds."
"Ostriches, look at that thing burn. I've never heard of incendiary rounds for a machine gun, Chet?"
"They don't make 'em, far as I know. That is truly evil. That must be something their techs came up with. I'll say it again, you couldn't pay me enough to get in there."
"Well I still don't see what he's up to, but - there! Spartan Prince is opening fire his HEL! It looks like Horseless Headsman will be going home e- hold a minute, looks like Johann missed wide-"
"He's doing more than missing wide, he's lasing the hell out of that plasma welder. Haha! That's what it was about! And now Johann's given his position away!"
"For a viewers at home Chet, what the hell happened to Graebauer's aim?"
"Well, I told you before about how all the machines and junked walkers screws with the targeting sensors right? A pilot still makes the call on what to fire on though. Johann saw the flaming hulk, must have thought Jair fired on it by mistake, and disregarded it; he started looking for Jair. What he found was the plasma welder. Must have seemed close enough, and with the way it's facing and the welder points at high temperature, he must have thought it was the Headsman after firing the flamers!"
"And now the Horseless Headsman is closing in on the tower! He's getting some remarkable accuracy with just machine guns at that range, isn't he? Looks like he managed to catch the Spartan off guard without coming at him from behind!"
"Yeah that last barrage set the window and part of the room on fire; Johann wasn't expecting that and now he's panicking!"
"Fire is every walker jockey's fear isn't i- OH LOOK OUT! HE'S FALLEN THROUGH HIS OWN TRAP!"
"I called it didn't I? Frank I called it: it was going to backfire and it did. Panicked with his arm on fire, back pedaled away and fell through his own floor trap-"
"JOHANN GRAEBAUER HAS OSTRICHED THROUGH THE FLOOR! I don't see how he's going to recover! He's face down, stuck in a pile of floor plate and machinery, getting random holes bored into his armor and assorted crap welded to his torso-"
"Oh. Oh it's all over. Here comes the Headsman. It's all over but the crying for our little ostrich."
"He's popped his flare! He's signaled surrender! Johann Graebauer has thrown up the white flag and with that-"
"Given up with barely a fight, his sponsors are not going to be happy with that. They are not going to be pleased. Rising gladiator pulls an ostrich and gives up - Coregiani is going to be pissed."
"Ladies and gentlemen - hold on, the Headsman is still approaching, he's reaching down and raising the axe! Chet, is this-?"
"Haha! It looks like he's taking a souvenir, or making good on his promise - chopping off the Spartan Prince's spear arm, haha!"
"Well, I guess it's only natural for a merc to get some salvage after a fight in the Junk Pit, right? Ladies and Gentlemen, now that we've whetted your appetite, we've got coming up in the Hall of the Mountain King a two on two bout between...."
No comments:
Post a Comment
Constructive comments welcome; hate filled speech need not bother.