Dreams are interesting.
They are weird. Like really
weird. One of the inspirations for
writing a story about the world of dreams is to explore some of the weird
phenomena of dreams that I (think I) have experienced (as well as the stranger
content of some dreams).
One of the peculiar things I’ve experienced is re-runs:
dreams that I have had before. And
which, by and large, have in the exact same manner each time: the same content,
the same sequence, the same everything.
On the one hand, maybe this isn’t surprising. The generally accepted explanation for dreams
is the sub conscious accessing and processing of memories and current
events. So if you see the same things
frequently, have the same worries and troubles, deal with the same sorts of
crises or happenings on a regular basis, then it would stand to reason under
this explanation that you would, at least occasionally, have the same dream as
you had at an earlier time. Moreover, as
you experience a dream, you are using your brain (one hopes; unless dreams are
some sort of extra dimensional, outer-self form of communication) and thus
firing neurons and creating and reinforcing specific pathways. In short, creating a memory. It wouldn’t be surprising if from time to
time a buried memory of this sort were stumbled upon, as it were, or if our
subconscious attached greater significance to a dream-memory for whatever
reason and thus it stayed in our active as well as long term memory in a manner
wholly unlike our more common experience of forgetting dreams.
On the other hand, it’s really frickin’ weird. For whatever reason, we don’t really seem to
expect to retread dreams; every day is a new day, and as I lay me down to
sleep, I am a different man each time. Maybe
not as much as I suppose? But maybe that
is just me; I can’t speak for the minds of others. Perhaps there is a cultural element. I don’t know.
And of course, it is perhaps suspect to know that we have
had a dream before. After all, it is
well recognized I think that a common phenomenon to encounter in dreams is
certain knowledge of a thing, despite waking knowledge to the contrary or
appearances differing, often to a degree of absolute certainty that is rarely
experienced in the waking world. But I
have as often had that revelation of prior dreaming after waking as I have had
during; and when during, I find that elements of the dream can change with some
conscious effort, and I know that these are changes, differences from a prior
dreaming.
So I don’t really know what to make of that.
And the more cliché issues of not knowing whether something
is a dream or not, those occur too. But
they can take different forms too. I am
sometimes unsure if a place actually exists or not; I could swear that I have
been there, have detailed memories of doing so, but at the end of it all, can’t
say for sure. I remember looking for a
place, feeling certain it I know which area it is in, but not knowing how to
get to that area. Knowing how a place in
the real world looks and how a place in my memory looks, knowing they are
contiguous, remembering why I was there, but then not really knowing if any of
that was real because I can’t seem to find any of it again (or not being in a
position to even try). And all this occurs
in the waking world.
That is infinitely more disturbing. If you were merely uncertain whether you
were, in the instant moment, dreaming or not, the question is largely of academic
interest only. What is more important in
that situation is whether you will change the manner in which you behave or not;
your perception shapes your reality and you still have certainty in what you
perceive, and thus your reality. But to
have ambiguity after the dream, when you are awake, is a bit terrifying; it’s a
fundamental inability to define your reality and distinguish it from
fantasy. The only saving grace is scale
and importance of the ambiguity; if I can’t find a really interesting store or
plaza, well who cares. But that
ambiguity remains scary until it can be resolved, one way or another. Existence is in some ways like a house of
cards (the saying rather, is that proof is like a house of cards; but we take
it for granted, as well we ought, that we exist); if the foundational evidence
is undermined, the whole thing collapses.
Perception defines our reality in the tangible and intangible
sense. If our perception is suspect to
alteration, our reality is suspect. And
if our reality is suspect, then our very self and identity is suspect; we are
the sum of our experiences and beliefs – in short our memories and those things
shaped by our memories.
And I didn’t even get to “sleep paralysis” or the whole myth
of waking up before you die in a dream (I have died in a dream more than once,
but the most vivid instance being one of having been rendered helpless and then
stabbed fatally… blacking out and existing in a black limbo before waking up).
