Fight Night

"Frank Feldts here with my co-host, long time veteran gladiator Chet Sommerlan!"

"Thanks Frank, a pleasure to be shootin' from the sidelines with you, as always!"

"Right back at you Chet! We're broadcasting LIVE from the Junk Pit arena; tonight's match up is between light weight class walkers.  In one corner, we have a member of the Gray Steel Hawks mercenary outfit, Jair in the Horseless Headsman; his opponent, up and coming gladiator Johann Graebauer, currently enjoying a five-win streak in his Spartan Prince.  Ladies and Gentlemen, this promises to be a standout match.  Chet? Your thoughts?"

"Well Frank, it's not unheard of for mercs to do a round or two in the arenas; but it is uncommon, and usually results in some fierce and brutal matches."

"Right, long time gladiator fans will know, there's an intense rivalry between Mercs and Gladiators, and no love lost between them.  Chet, you've fought your share of grudge matches right?"

"Sure have Frank, and let me tell you, if Johann thinks he can just swagger his way through this match up, we might have to rechristen his walker the Spartan Coffin.  You couldn't pay me enough to get in there right now against Jair's Headsman."

"And here we are now looking at Jair and the Horseless Headsman; Relevant technical data is flowing like the booze at Geirmund's Mead Hall, official sponsor of tonight's match.  Chet, can you help our viewers at home make sense of all these numbers?"

"Can do Frank.  Headsman is a custom job like most merc walkers; you have a Halsev Tornado chassis up top.  The Tornado is a excellent light torso; all-rounded surfaces help deflect all types of incoming fire.  Ample weapon hardpoints on the lower torso; pilot's compartment is spacious and well armored, power plant is symmetrically distanced to the arms and legs.  Arms have good clearance for a wide variety of arm mounted weapons."

"That's because of the bulb-shape of the torso right?"

"Exactly; although Jair's walker has a custom matte black and weathered taupe paint job that makes the torso look like a giant skull;  he's still got the high velocity short range machine guns on the 'jaw', but it looks like he's added something to the torso's weapon bay mounts that wasn't there before-"

"You're talking about that flickering flame light in the eye sockets right? Those are freaking me out right now, like damning eyes, and I could swear they didn't use to be there."

"Yeah, those are definitely new, they look like pilot lights for a mark 3, or even mark 5, Kenbishi flamethrower.  And of course, he's still got his signature weapon, the Guillotine.  I swear that thing gives me nightmares."

"Yeah, that is one seriously evil looking, large axe"

"Headsman's chassis is paired with a RenkeiZ bipedal locomotor platform.  Nothing special, but very reliable.  Good speed, very agile, average stability.  Dependable and sturdy, the kind of gear you'd expect on walker that might have to go weeks or even months without a full maintenance."

"That's a common complaint, right? That gladiator walkers are showroom divas and merc walkers are, well, as Johann himself put it, 'the butch of the ball.'"

"Yeah, and I mean, that's just a matter of circumstances and goals you know? It's comparing Rifles and Grenade Launchers."

"I'd be hard pressed to call the Headsman 'butch'; that skull effect is actually quite terrifying.  Now we're over in Johann's bay where they are finishing prep work on the Spartan Prince.  It's quite a different walker altogether.  Chet, you mentioned the bipedal platform on the Headsman, perhaps you can start us off with how Spartan Prince's, uh, 'chicken legs' are different from those, and how quad legs are different from both?"

"Haha, I'd be careful Frank, Johann might throw a challenge your way!  But seriously, the 'Reverse Counter Jointed' leg platform is one that is built for speed.  It's excellent for closing the distance with a foe, as well as keeping your distance.  But that straight line speed comes at a price: the design has poor agility for maneuvaring and dodging, and the altered joint makes for a more hopping gait which makes aiming on the move more difficult.

Now quad legs, those four legged, low slung, kinda spider leg design, those are bult for stability.  You see them often on long range type walker; makes those sniper shots easier.  But more legs means a slower gait and lower top speed.  Their agility is surprisingly decent, due to their ability to side-step."

"And in spite of all that, Johann has a shoulder-mounted long range High Energy Laser."

"Yeah, it's unusual to see something like a HEL on a light-class walker.  Uses up a lot of the spare capacity of the power plant, and not that great for a run-and-gun fighting style you usually see on the lighter guys.  Of course, the Spartan has a bit more armor than usual, opting for a Coregiani Barone chassis with augmented armor flares."

"It's a beautiful standard-type torso with pauldron and gorget flares.  Although like most walkers, it has no true 'head'."

"Yeah, well, why would you put the pilot in a standout, lightly armored location right? Stick him in the chest."

"Speaking of which, the Spartan Prince is well equipped for that task, rounding out it's armaments with a Lockheed medium range kinetic rocket rack on the right arm and a Medieapons ultanium hardened spear-mount in place of the lower left arm."

"I heard that tonight's match had something to do Johann making a spear thrust motion at the Gray Steel Hawks and Jair offering to castrate him in reply."

"Ouch.  We'll see who lives up to his words in a few moments as the two combatants move onto their arena lifts.  Now Chet, you've fought plenty of times in the Junk Pit right?  What is it like?"

"The Junk Pit is a pain in the ass, and the management is proud of that reputation.  It's dark, muddy, and there's metal every-god-damn-where.  Drives the sensors crazy.  And most of the junk piles are scuttled and obsolete walker parts.  That, and the random bits of machinery that are active but doing nothing useful drives targeting bonkers.  And if that's not enough, they've wired power sources to some of the odd bits of walker trash in the pit, and they love to turn them on and off at random.  If you don't have a heart attack from getting a proximity alert from the junkpile you just walked past, it's because you are probably too busy shitting yourself."

"Cabin boy, get me my brown pants, right Chet?  Haha!  And how about that 'warehouse' structure they have in the middle? That's got to be tactically significant, right?"

"Not as much as you'd think Frank.  It's a rusted out, two story metal death trap really.  It gives you a better view, but you can't cover all the angles, and you're as likely to fall through the floor or get caught from behind while staring out the window for your opponent as you are to get the jump on them.  Sometimes it helps, but it's usually a rookie mistake."

"And here we go the lifts are rising into place and our fight is about to get underwa-wow would you look at that? We could have a very short fight on our hands!"

"Oh yeah, it's not often they do this kinda thing Frank, but the operators do sometimes start the walkers out right near each other, practically back to back."

"All that stands between these two is a stacking container! Fight fans, it's all over the second one of them turns the corner and catches the other off guard!"

"Talk about an aluminum sheet between victory and disaster; they are both turning clockwise around the container! It's like a choreographed dance to destruction!"

"So what do you think is going on in their minds Chet?  Give us some insight."

"Well, Johann is making straight for the warehouse.  I think it's a mistake, but probably he's going to try to leverage the range advantage with his HEL; you know usually he's in the Garden or the Colosseum, he just doesn't have any experience in this arena yet."

"Certainly.  Who can forget his recent win in the Garden?  Blasted a hole through the hedge maze with his rockets to stun his opponent and then finished him off with the spear!"

"Took a page right out of Jair's book with that one, which may have led to all taunting.  There; Johann is heading into the warehouse and Jair, well, I have no idea what he's doing-"

"Yeah it looks like he's moving some of the machinery around - what is that, a plasma welder? Thermic lance? Can't really tell-"

"I think he's trying to get it closer to that burnt out hulk; yeah that's precisely what he's doing.  Someone told him this is a fight and not an art competition right?"

"Looks like Johann has negotiated his way into an empty room on the second floor.  What do you make of what he's doing with his spear there Chet?"

"Sly son of a bitch.  See how's scoring the floor with his spear, making cross hatches? He's weakening the floor leading into the room.  He can't watch for the Headsman and cover his back at the same time.  So he's setting a trap; he's weakened the floor and he's counting on Jair to close the distance to use his axe if he comes up on Johann from behind.  Tricky bastard, but I think it's a risky gambit; He's underestimating Jair."

"Does seem like a plan that could backfire if things go wrong.'

"Right; and in the arenas, things always go wrong."

"Did you see that? Did Jair use his flame throwers? I didn't see any flames-"

"That took me by surprise too; Frank can we go to an instant replay on that? Look, he fires his machine guns on the hulk from behind cover and - Bam! There it goes, up in flames!  That- that is truly evil.  Those have to be some kind of incendiary rounds."

"Ostriches, look at that thing burn.  I've never heard of incendiary rounds for a machine gun, Chet?"

"They don't make 'em, far as I know.  That is truly evil.  That must be something their techs came up with.  I'll say it again, you couldn't pay me enough to get in there."

"Well I still don't see what he's up to, but - there! Spartan Prince is opening fire his HEL! It looks like Horseless Headsman will be going home e- hold a minute, looks like Johann missed wide-"

"He's doing more than missing wide, he's lasing the hell out of that plasma welder.  Haha! That's what it was about! And now Johann's given his position away!"

"For a viewers at home Chet, what the hell happened to Graebauer's aim?"

"Well, I told you before about how all the machines and junked walkers screws with the targeting sensors right?  A pilot still makes the call on what to fire on though.  Johann saw the flaming hulk, must have thought Jair fired on it by mistake, and disregarded it; he started looking for Jair.  What he found was the plasma welder.  Must have seemed close enough, and with the way it's facing and the welder points at high temperature, he must have thought it was the Headsman after firing the flamers!"

"And now the Horseless Headsman is closing in on the tower! He's getting some remarkable accuracy with just machine guns at that range, isn't he?  Looks like he managed to catch the Spartan off guard without coming at him from behind!"

"Yeah that last barrage set the window and part of the room on fire; Johann wasn't expecting that and now he's panicking!"

"Fire is every walker jockey's fear isn't i- OH LOOK OUT! HE'S FALLEN THROUGH HIS OWN TRAP!"

"I called it didn't I? Frank I called it: it was going to backfire and it did.  Panicked with his arm on fire, back pedaled away and fell through his own floor trap-"

"JOHANN GRAEBAUER HAS OSTRICHED THROUGH THE FLOOR! I don't see how he's going to recover!  He's face down, stuck in a pile of floor plate and machinery, getting random holes bored into his armor and assorted crap welded to his torso-"

"Oh. Oh it's all over.  Here comes the Headsman.  It's all over but the crying for our little ostrich."

"He's popped his flare! He's signaled surrender! Johann Graebauer has thrown up the white flag and with that-"

"Given up with barely a fight, his sponsors are not going to be happy with that.  They are not going to be pleased.  Rising gladiator pulls an ostrich and gives up - Coregiani is going to be pissed."

"Ladies and gentlemen - hold on, the Headsman is still approaching, he's reaching down and raising the axe! Chet, is this-?"

"Haha! It looks like he's taking a souvenir, or making good on his promise - chopping off the Spartan Prince's spear arm, haha!"

"Well, I guess it's only natural for a merc to get some salvage after a fight in the Junk Pit, right?  Ladies and Gentlemen, now that we've whetted your appetite, we've got coming up in the Hall of the Mountain King a two on two bout between...."

Walkers

Captain Seth Jechsen strode through the large main hold of his planetary lander, the Excuse Me Coming Through.  It was, in reality, simply a large empty space suitable for a number of different purposes.  The mercenaries took that to heart and used it in precisely that fashion.

Gantries along both sides housed giant Walkers, both those combat ready and those in various stages of repair and refit (or, occasionally as fortune permitted, even construction).  Crates of supplies floated in zero gravity near various Walker bays; others were stored more securely in chain netting towards the command side of the large hall.  Various bits of machinery sat on one of the three floors - in zero gravity, every direction was "down" - or moved about on weak ion differential thrusters, puttering about to repair or remove or reload some piece of equipment.  Pilots and technicians floated about, busy with pre-drop maintenance, each pilot trying to get some last bit of performance squeezed out of his or her Walker, and each tech adamantly stating it would be impossible.

Of course, all the necessary work would get done; but first, ritual had to be observed.

Seth floated on back towards the command side of the hall, having just done his usual pre-mission tour of preparations.  It would soon be time to brief his lieutenants and pilots, but first the head technician had requested a meeting.

Head technician Endon Gantz had been a rare find; the world class engineer had been fired from one of the Walker Mega Corps for tinkering on one too many company prototypes.  He was forever curious and looking for ways to improve upon Walker systems and weapons.  Where his blatant disregard for safety was frowned upon by corporate executives, his talent and iingenuity found deep appreciation in the mercenary company.  His paycheck was substantial, but he made sure he earned it, and those on the engineering staff earned their keep as well.  He was well respected, and next to Captain Jechsen, his word in the EMCT's hold was law.

Seth found him beside his own Walker, Askar.  Endon had a number of pieces of munition floating beside him as he watched technicians finish maintenance on Askar's gauss rifles.

"Captain, I thought you'd ike to know that I've finished work on the specialty munitions; we have a limited amount available of each type, but I thought I'd go over the dangers of each before you make allocations."

"Dangers?" asked Seth.

"Yes, each of these variants is more dangerous than carrying standard equivalents for the user.  For example,' Endon held up a large, red tipped shell.  "These are the incendiary HVAC rounds.  We have them in a few different calibres, suitable for short range anti-personnel machine guns, long range gauss rifles, and everything in between."  Seth examined the shell, intended for a high velocity auto cannon, while Endon continued.  "The tip is designed to fragment on impact, releasing the payload, a napalm-like gel.  Feel the abrasive surface?  That will reduce the maximum range and affect accuracy somewhat; however, it allows use to avoid using a primer or some other kind of chemical stimulant to ignite the gel - the tip fragments will do that with friction-sparks when striking Walker armor.  it should also reduce the amount of collateral damage and wild fire danger in urban and forest combat settings."

Captain Jechsen handed the round back.  "You mentioned a downside?"

"Well, it's an incendiary round.  Lacking a primer makes it safer to carry, but a hit to the ammo storage compartment, or even high enough temperatures, could set the entire magazine off.  This stuff will not only increase operational temperatures, it will melt through Walker armor plating in time.  Short of fully submerging the burning area, you wont get it off.  Speaking of which," Endon continued.  "You'll want your close combat Walkers to be especially careful if these rounds are in use.  Ramming, striking, pushing an affected Walker could easily transfer the gel from Walker to Walker - and the gel doesn't know friend from foe."

Jechsen nodded thoughtfully.  "We have these for the missile systems too, right?"

Endon nodded matter of factly.  "Of course.  But you'll want to consider this baby for missiles too." He hefted a blue striped missile.  "We can refit the warheads on a limited number of missiles, but it wont really matter if they are short range straight-fire or long range swarmers.  These are the EMP warheads you asked for a while back.  It took a while to finangle a working EMP burst into the warhead space; in fact, I'm still working on designs for gun shells.  In the meantime though, we've got these."

"What's the effective area? How long of a knock out can we count on?"

"Little less than a cubic meter; half a second to a second at best."

Jechsen frowned.  "That's not going to do much..."

Endon laughed, a short raucous bark.  "No, you're right.  It's not going to do anything meaningful to weapons, targetting, or even comms...." his voice trailed off.

"Balance.  Balance and movement!"

Endon smiled.  "Bingo.  It's enough to momentarily throw a Walker off balance.  At best, a good salvo will disable a Walker pilot with vertigo feedback, or make him fall over.  At worst, you're going to upset his balance for a moment, which will likely disrupt his aim and battle focus.  Could be just enough to make a difference." Endon paused.  "Of course, like the incendiary rounds, a stray hit could set off the magazine.  And that could fry our pilot.  At the least, it will almost certainly shutdown a Walker until we can get a full technical team to do a full once-over.  You'll also want to be careful at point-blank range: there's always the chance of being caught in the same EMP blast."

"Well, to start, let's load incendiary rounds into the Horseless Headsman, and make sure you tell Jair about it; nothing else for trine 3.  Divvy the EMP missiles between Askar and Miracle.  Let's also put the incendiaries in Banshee. As for trine 2," Seth took a breath to consider his tactical options.  Trine 2 was long range support;  under normal circumstances, they would open up at long range, and then continue to maintain their distance in between salvos, using trine 3's scout skirmishers and trine 1's assault walkers as interference if necessary.  "If you have enough left over, put incendiary rounds in Fantoccini; unless Isabella wants missiles.  Ask her which she would prefer, with a slant on area denial."

Every Gundam Series Ever Explained*

Let's explain every Gundam series ever, because why not.

I will confess right off the bat however that I am an unashamed FAN of the anime and giant space robots in general, although not quite enough to build anything other than the chibi capsule toy ones.  Also, to my knowledge, only the most recent series "Gundam Build Fighters" breaks this plot pattern - but it also deviates widely as Gundams are not actually real in the series.  GBF centers around the pokemon-ing of plastic toy kits, as one would wish were true of real life.

So you've got "mobile suits" which, while mobile, are anything but suit-like.  These are giant (30-50 ft tall) walking, flying, sometimes transforming, robot space tanks.  Usually there's been war as a result, or there is still war going on.  Whatever.

But it's not enough to build the ultimate super weapon that can be mass produced; you have to build the Gundam.  The nigh invincible super robot space tank of legend.  It's usually fairly plain looking, designed somewhat like a WWI era soldier's kit.  Also no one seems to know why it's called Gundam.  Whatever.

So the military, or some secret organization, spends billions in resources to make this ONE super robot space tank.  Then some enemy attacks with better space robot tanks than the mass produced ones the good guys have.  So the only hope is GUNDAM.  Good thing they built it, causing the enemy to attack.  Maybe they should try to just talk it out? Whatever.

So, only one effective weapon, the Gundam, against hundreds of enemies.  It represents billions in resources and man hours to make.  It is the most advanced weapon ever.

They will give it to a kid (preteen to mid teens) pilot.  Because giving their only hope to a child who has no real conception of the real world, remains hopelessly idealistic, has no military training, no experience piloting a giant multi-ton walking space tank, is the last thing the enemy would think of, and therefore the best option.

Also, this super advanced walking robot space tank's best weapon is a sword (or some other 8th century weapon); it's best defense is a shield.  Like, a giant metal shield.  Attached to the arm.  So basically, if knights from medieval times rode around inside giant robots instead of on horses, and also they were entering puberty, that's Gundam.  Seriously, all the technology to make a self-powered, 30 foot tall, multi ton, flying, walking armored robot tank of annihilation, and the best weapon and defense they can invent is a sword and shield.  Sometimes it's not even an energy sword.  Come on.

But so that will fool the enemy for like, 5 minutes.  But then they just up and kidnap the kid, because he is a kid and they are adults, and that's pretty much how that works.  Sometimes the kid ends up fighting for the enemy, so good decision giving him your best weapon.

And then a lot of stuff explodes, and war is resolved.

Take Gundam-AGE for example (Advanced Gundam Evolution? Artificial Gundam Evolving? Fried Gundam?).  It takes place over the course of 3 generations.  Also, spoilers.

The very first gundam is made by the military with the help of a 11 year old kid.  Because his parents were awesome robot designers, and genetics.  But also they are dead, so the kid is better than nothing.  The kid is also traumatized from seeing his parents (and indeed, entire space colony) get killed in front of his eyes by dragon-alien robot tanks.  But they don't bother sending him to a psychiatrist or anything.

More dragon robots attack.  This kid is the only person who can pilot the gundam, the only one of its kind because it was that expensive.  I guess the military, desperate because all their weapons are totally ineffective at even scuffing the enemy, aren't desperate enough to take the KEY from the kid.  So ok, no training, no association to the military, no accountability, no maturity.... but he's got spirit!

So they have adventures.  It largely centers around the incredible AGE device that allows his gundam to improve.... incrementally.  Also, although it can improve the space carrier, it can't do anything for the mass produced suits that are more like the gundam than the space carrier.  Also, the army still sends people out in the mass produced suits, even though they literally do no damage and just explode.

Kid grows up, has a kid of his own.  Joins the military, builds an even better gundam, and then gives it to his kid because 1) nepotism, and 2) it's a proven track record.  Everything pretty much repeats.  The son has a child, and then goes off to join pirates.  So grandpa builds an even more betterer third gundam to give to the grandson, because two wrongs make a really awesome super robot space tank.

Grandson gets kidnapped and pretty much turns out to be an uber idealist.  And then they all blow up all technology, and everyone learns to get along.

Anyway, it all goes to prove, exciting battles between giant super robot space tanks trumps pretty anything.